PAPA BEAR DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BEAR FLU

WORD UP ALL, PAPA BEAR IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER FO' CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR. FUCKIN' HESS TRUCK REFERENCES BOYS AND GIRLS!

SO SOME DEDICATED READERS BEEN ASKIN' PAPA BEAR WHY HE AIN'T BEEN UPDATIN' HIS BLOG. SOME READERS BEEN THINKIN', "MAN THAT PAPA BEAR DONE TURNED OUT TO BE ONE LAZY ASS BEAR." WELL FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YA'LL THINKIN' THAT BULLSHIT CAUSE PAPA BEAR GOT A CASE OF BEAR FLU. SECOND, PAPA BEAR DONE WORK HIS ASS OFF TO BEAR SWIPE THAT CASE OF BEAR FLU TO DEATH. SO NOW PAPA BEAR IS BACK, 100%! LEGIT!

PAPA BEAR TRUTH #2: IT TAKES ONE BEAR LICK TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP

I KNOW I AIN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEN THAT FUCKIN' OWL PRICK ON THE COMMERCIAL WITH THE KID WHO'S JUST CURIOUS TO KNOW HOW MANY FUCKIN' LICKS IT TAKES TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP. WELL, THAT KID WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GIVE THE DAMN OWL HIS FUCKIN' TOOTSIE POP! AND GUESS WHAT? THAT OWL DONE EAT THAT TOOTSIE POP EVERY TIME! BUT FUCK THAT KID, HE'S A SUCKA; THAT'S HOW THE HUSTLE WORKS IN THIS WORLD BITCHES! BUT IF PAPA BEAR WALKED UP TO THAT OWL WITH A TOOTSIE POP, HERE'S HOW IT'D GO DOWN: PAPA BEAR WOULD TAKE ONE LICK AND GET TO THE CENTER OF THE FUCKIN' TOOTSIE POP, BECAUSE BEARS ONLY NEED ONE LICK TO DO IT! THEN PAPA BEAR'D EAT THE FUCKIN' OWL! TWO MEALS IN ONE MOTHER FUCKIN' SCENARIO! HELL YEAH!