PAPA BEAR DOES WORK

WHAT UP ALL! PAPA BEAR FINALLY DONE DUG HIMSELF A DEN ON THIS HERE INTERNET.

WHY?

WHY YOU ASKIN' QUESTIONS OF PAPA BEAR WOULD BE MAH' FIRST ANSWER, CAUSE YOU DON'T EVER QUESTION PAPA BEAR. MY SECOND ANSWER WOULD BE A LIL' MORE LEGITIMATE THOUGH, AND I'D SAY THAT PAPA BEAR REALIZED THERE IS A SEVERE LACK OF REPRESENTATION OF BEARS IN THIS WORLD, AND PAPA BEAR DOESN'T JUST TAKE THAT SHIT, SO PAPA BEAR'S GONNA START DEALIN' THE SHIT ON THE WORLD-WIDE-FUCKIN'-WEB! YOU DON'T LIKE IT? DEAL MOTHERFUCKER, CAUSE PAPA BEAR AIN'T THE KINDA BEAR YOU MESS WITH!

BUT PAPA BEAR ADMITS THAT JUST CAUSE HE'S A BEAR DON'T MEAN HE CAN GO JUNKIN' UP THE INTERNET. TOO MANY BITCHES ALREADY FILLIN' THIS HERE MEDIUM WITH SHIT AS IS. SO PAPA BEAR GONNA' LAY OUT THE AGENDA, AND PAPA BEAR DON'T LIKE REPEATIN' HIMSELF SO YOU BETTA' LISTEN UP!

PAPA BEAR'S AGENDA FOR PIMPIN' OUT THE INTERNET:

STEP 1: TOO MANY PEOPLE LIVE WITH LIES, SO PAPA BEAR GONNA IMPROVE THE WORLD BY GIVIN' PEOPLE ONE TRUTH TO RELY ON TWO DAYS A WEEK! AND IF TWO TRUTHS AIN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU THEN YOU CAN GET THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE PAPA BEAR THINKS YOU ONE INSECURE BITCH TOO MANY FOR HIS DEN!

STEP 2: PAPA BEAR ALWAYS WRITES IN CAPS LOCK, CAUSE HE ALWAYS SPEAKS IN CAPS LOCK, CAUSE BEARS ARE ALWAYS INTENSE! PAPA BEAR HOPES HIS INTENSITY RUBS OFF ON HIS READERS LIKE THIS.

STEP 3: PAPA BEAR NEVER GONNA REPEAT HIMSELF, CAUSE A BEAR REPEATS HIMSELF BY BEAR SWIPING YO' MOTHERFUCKING HEAD OFF! INTENSE SHIT!

STEP 4: PROFIT, SEX, HONEY! PAPA BEAR HAS NEEDS TOO!

THAT LAST STEP WASN'T REALLY A STEP, JUST WHAT WAS ON PAPA BEAR'S MIND. BUT FUCK STEPS, PAPA BEAR GONNA TYPE WHAT'S ON HIS MIND, CAUSE THAT'S WHAT THIS SHIT'S FOR. DEAL! PAPA BEAR GONNA LEAVE YA'LL OFF WITH ONE TRUTH TO START WITH THOUGH, SO HERE IT IS:

PAPA BEAR TRUTH #1: MUGS ARE FUCKIN' GREAT

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, BEAR'S USE MUGS TOO. THINK IT'S EASY FOR BEAR'S TO SCOOP UP WATER WITH PAWS? HELL NO, WE CLUMSY AS SHIT IN THE WATER-SCOOPIN' DEPARTMENT. YOU THINK BEARS JUST DUNK THEIR HEADS IN THE WATER AND DRINK IT UP? ONLY THE NASTY BEARS DO THAT, AND PAPA BEAR IS ONE CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER. SO YEAH, BEAR'S USE MUGS TOO. THAT ASIDE THOUGH, MUGS ARE GREAT FOR DRINKIN' SHIT WITH! SODA, TEA, WATER, HONEY, CLUB SAUCE; YOU NAME IT,YOU CAN USE A MUG TO DRINK IT! YOU CAN EVEN FILL IT WITH WATER AND PUT IN FLOWERS FOR YO' LOVER BEAR! THAT'S RIGHT, MUGS CAN BE YO' SEX TICKET IF YOU PLAY YO' SHIT RIGHT! MOST IMPORTANT THOUGH, SOME PUNK ASS ROBBA' COME BARGIN' IN YO' DEN, AND YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO BE A BEAR, THEN YOU JUST BREAK HALF THE MUG AND YOU GOT YO' SELF MUG-KNUCKLES! JUST WATCH THAT ROBBA' TRY TO PULL SHIT ON YOU THEN! CONCLUSION: MUGS ARE FUCKIN' GREAT, USE EM'!