PAPA BEAR HERE, WRITIN' TO ALL YOU GREAT FUCKIN' READERS THAT IT IS HELLA HARD TO TYPE WITH FUCKIN' BEAR PAWS, LET ALONE PLEASURE BITCHES WITHOUT MAULIN' EM'. SO PAPA BEAR HAS BEEN UPDATIN' THIS SHIT, PAWS JUST SOMETIMES HIT THE DELETE BUTTON INSTEAD OF THE BUTTON PAPA BEAR REALLY WANTS AND THEN PAPA BEARS JUST THROWS THE FUCKIN' KEYBOARD OUT THE FUCKIN' WINDOW BECAUSE AIN'T NO KEYBOARD ON THIS MOTHER FUCKIN' EARTH THAT'S GONNA TELL PAPA BEAR WHAT PAPA BEAR CAN AND CAN'T TYPE! THAT'S HOW YOU DEAL WITH TECHNOLOGY, LIKE A FISH ON FIRE, CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP THAT SHIT IN THE HOUSE AND YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT IT EITHER, SO JUST THROW IT BACK INTO THE WILD AND SHIT'LL RESOLVE ITSELF. WORD!
WHAT'S THAT? SOMETIMES PAPA BEAR HITS THE DELETE KEY ACTUALLY MEANS MOST OF THE TIME? FUCK YOU READERS, PAPA BEAR TELLS NOTHIN' BUT THE TRUTH AND IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE THEN YOU BETTER BE RUNNIN' THE FUCK AWAY CAUSE PAPA BEARS ABOUT TO TERMI-FUCKING-NATE YOUR GODDAMN READERSHIP!
PAPA BEAR TRUTH #3: BIRDS WAKE UP AT FOUR IN THE MORNING
WHAT THE FUCK BIRDS? WHY YOU GOTTA' BE WAKIN' PAPA BEAR UP AT FOUR IN THE FUCKIN' MORNING WHEN PAPA BEAR GOT SOME SHIT TO GET DONE, AND BY SHIT PAPA BEAR MEAN SOME BEAR SLEEP. REST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING PART OF THE DAY, LIKE BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING MEAL OF YOUR LIFE AND IF YOU SKIP IT YOU MUST BE A FUCKIN' COLLEGE STUDENT WHO AIN'T GOT NO TIME TO DEAL WITH THE MORNIN' AND THE SUN. WELL, PAPA BEAR'S HERE TO TELL YOU COLLEGE KIDS THAT YOU DON'T FUCK WITH THE SUN, CAUSE' IF YOU'RE RUDE TO THE SUN YOU BE DISSIN' PAPA BEAR, AND YOU DEFINITELY DON'T FUCK WITH THE GODDAMN-MOTHER-FUCKING-BITCH-ASS PAPA BEAR! SO BIRDS, WHY YOU GOTTA BE RUDE TO THE SUN AND WAKE UP WHEN YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO? BIRD HAVE EYES, RIGHT? SO USE EM', BITCHES.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
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